Food, Gifts, Manservant what?
by Bloodypleasures
Summary: February fourteenth. And Alice has absolutely no idea what the fuss she created is about. AlicexOz, oneshot.


**Food, Gifts, Manservant- what?**

Alice gasped. "What have you done?!"

Oz had just arrived at the scenery of crime and looked at two of his friends amused, while his other best friend was sitting in the corner, sulking over something. Nothing out of the ordinary, it seemed.

"Sprinkled chocolate over your meat, Miss Ali-"

_WHACK._

Alice threw the steak with the offending sprinkled chocolate right into his face, and it hit with a sloppy sound. Break blinked as the object of the female's attack slowly fell down, leaving his face rather smudged.

"Chocolate?! That's disgusting!" Alice fumed, pointing at the little carton box Break had in his hands. "Die, clown!" It was obvious that it would only take another five seconds before she'd practically jump on Break and either demand a new steak from him or just rip a 'steak' from his body and fry it.

"Alice~" Oz quickly jumped in, holding her back just in time. Alice nearly tripped over her own feet at this and tried to shrug Oz off.

"No time, manservant! I have to pass judgment!"

Break pouted childishly and held up the box. "I was only expressing my love~"

Alice, not catching up with comments like these, was still pointing at him, finger shaking in disbelief.

"Its heart-shaped chocolate sprinkles." Gilbert said distantly. Oz nodded. Oh, that explained the situation.

"Look, that Sharon enjoys it doesn't mean I enjoy it!" Alice said, leaning back and crossing her arms, even though Oz's hand was still attached to it. "And now you'll pa-"

"Ah Alice, he was only being nice! It's Valentine's Day after all~"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh for Christ's sake Oz, she doesn't know that!" Gilbert said, pretty much annoyed by the dumbfounded looks on his enemy and his friend. Break had already started inching to the food cart, looking like a hit puppy (even though his huge grin broke through that façade)

"Now if you'll excuse me~" Break said happily, crouching down and disappearing behind the cover of the food cart.

Oz sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Let me explain then. Valentine's Day is the one day in the year that you can flirt with girls and get away with it~"

Oz whined pathetically as he got smacked on the head by Gilbert who suddenly stood there randomly. Alice raised an eyebrow and waited patiently. After all, her manservant had to explain her loads of things. This was only necessary.

"And people who like each other – friends or lovers – give each other gifts or sweets! Like in Break's case, chocolate!"

"You humans are so stupid sometimes." Alice mumbled and Gilbert opened his mouth for a nasty comment when Oz pushed him behind him. "I don't get it though." She continued, paying no attention.

"Let's say, as an example, I was the one with chocolate sprinkles, and I decided to give some to Gilbert, for example. Got that so far?"

Alice scrunched her nose (why was this so important anyway?) and nodded. "Sure?"

"Okay. Now what if I was sprinkling the chocolate for the purpose that I liked Gilbert, as an example. And let's say, as an example, Gilbert liked me back. What does that make us?"

Aha! Alice wasn't that dim-witted! She read many, many of Sharon's novels!

"Homosexuals."

"I'LL KILL YOU-"

Oz elbowed Gilbert in his side and said person stumbled away from the two again, clutching his stomach with an angry pout.

"That too, but we'd be in love. You see?"

"So if you give someone food you're in love." _Hell with speeching for Sharon's birthday then. _

Alice's head snapped and a horrified expression was on her face in an instant, as she stared at Gilbert intensely. Gilbert raised an eyebrow, and wondered what had passed that walnut brain of hers now.

"You give me food all the time!"

Oz, who was smart enough to immediately understand that, bit his lip to keep a laugh in. Sometime she was just too cute. Gilbert however, only caught up after a second or two.

"W-What?!" He screeched and Alice's eyebrows shot down as she pointed at him accusingly.

"Forget it! First of all, I'm your master's master, and second of all, you look like seaweed!"

"I wouldn't want to be your lover, rabbit!" Gilbert nearly yelled back, his entire face flushing with disgust from only the thought.

"Ha! You're in denial!" Some thing she didn't know, and some things she did. Sometimes, this was a true mystery to Oz.

"I AM MOST CERTAI-"

"Wait!" Oz decided to interrupt. It was Valentine's Day after all, they could fight tomorrow. "Giving sweets it's just one option to show your love! Gilbert only makes food for you so he can show you you're a good friend!"

"Mfmf." Gilbert's words were muffled as Oz once again, elbowed him harshly in the side. All the while smiling at Alice sweetly.

"People can go out on dates, or buy things for each other, like flowers or jewellery or art, and they can show affection to each other, like dancing or hugging or kissing,"

"Aha! So you love me?"

"Or- what?" Oz stumbled over his words and stared at her. What gave her that impression? Alice grinned. "You danced with me last week! And you make seaweed buy me things! Plus, we hug and I even kissed you! That clears it; you're my lover!"

"Ah, Wait- Alice-, I"

Out of the room, a squeal was heard, and Gilbert decided he should just lie of on this subject and sulk in the corner of the room again. Alice raised an eyebrow as she heard the girl who had been approaching the room stumbling away again. Oh god.

"But then what will we do on this day?" Alice asked herself out loud and Oz sweat dropped.

"We're not lovers, Alice." He explained carefully and Alice frowned at him.

"Why not? You're my manservant!"

"That doesn't mean we're- oh forget it." Oz knew she'd probably forget all about this the week after next one. So he could just not try to convince her they were not. She was cute and all, but he wondered if he could take it if she was actually his girlfriend – with all that energy and fighting going on, he might –

All train of thought was stopped bluntly as Alice gave him a long and sloppy kiss on his lips, completely surprising him (and traumatizing Gilbert).

"And now make me some new meat."

* * *

***shot***

**R&R :D**


End file.
